WWE does Romeo and Juliet!
by Anikathepen
Summary: When Vince decides to stage a performance of Romeo and Juliet for Charity, it seems like a good idea. Until things get carried away! Fueds become real and romances become realler until no one knows where acting ends and real life begins...
1. The announcement

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Good ol' Billy Shakespeare owns Romeo and Juliet and Vince own the WWE!  
  
Note: Pre-roster split but the people in here are not in there on screen character's but their actors.  
  
Shout-out: EVERYONE GO READ JEFFSGURL108's FIC 3XTREME IT ROCKS! Chloe, there's a hidden tribute to you in here! (Not very well hidden)  
  
"It is with great pleasure that I announce that WWE will be performing Romeo and Juliet to raise money for St. Bennedict's Children's hospital!" announced Vince to the Paparazzi. The clapped and cheered, the photographers running forward to take his photo. "Thankyou! Thankyou! I'm sure it will be a great success!" He said before climbing into his Stretch limousine. "Driver, take me to the MCI center! It's nearly time for RAW!"  
  
**********  
  
Prologue  
  
**********  
  
1 hour before Raw  
  
**********  
  
"It is with great pleasure that I announce that WWE will be performing Romeo and Juliet to raise money for St. Bennedict's Children's hospital!" announced Vince to the Superstars. There were collective groans around the room. "Oh Grow up!" yelled Vince to his unenthusiastic cast. They fell silent. "Good. Now auditions will be held before Smackdown EVERYONE WILL ATTEND." With that Vince left, leaving the superstars to get ready for RAW.  
  
"Shakespeare!" Exploded Chris Irvine (Jericho) as soon as Vince was out of earshot. There were rumblings of agreement around the room.  
  
"We're wrestlers, not puffs in tights!" said someone else.  
  
"What if we all just refuse?" suggested Adam (edge)  
  
"Vince might fire us all!" wailed Jay (Christian)  
  
"He couldn't fire all of us dumbass!" said Matt Hardy. "Could he?"  
  
There was a knock at the door. Jeff opened it and a blond girl walked shyly into the room. A huge sign that read 'Lita is my idol!' was in one hand and in the other an autograph book.  
  
"Uh.hi! I'm Chloe, can I have some autographs,"  
  
"CHLOE!" Another girl, with brown hair, ran into the room. "Don't run off like tha- um, Hi!" The second girl blushed as she noticed the wrestlers that were staring at her.  
  
"HARRIET!" Hissed Chloe, "I told you to wait for me!"  
  
"Hey Hey, Girls, calm down. We'll sign your autographs" Said Matt.  
  
The wrestlers talked to the girls for a minute and signed their autograph books Lita gave Chloe a hug and Chloe looked as if she was going to explode! The had almost forgotten being so angry about Vince's proposition.  
  
"So what are we gonna do about this shakespeare thing?" Jeff asked once the girls had left. Everyone shrugged.  
  
"Let's just play along, I mean, How bad can it be?" Said Adam. Everyone shrugged or nodded. "Well I have to get ready for my match, see you all at auditions!" 


	2. Auditions and the first rehearsal

Author's note: The RAW that was described in chapter one was the one on which the roster split took place on. Oh and Matt and Amy aren't dating! Ok! And I am mixing up the roster's slightly. Plus Romeo and Juliet has some additional characters for the fight scenes.  
  
  
  
"Ok this is how it'll work" Said Vince. "You will each read the part of either Romeo or Juliet depending on your sex. Anyone thinking of doing it intentionally badly will be suspended without pay for 2 weeks! Understand?" Everyone Nodded. "Good, we'll go in alphabetical order. Adam, you first!"  
  
The auditions went on three hours and were boring as hell. The guys had to read Romeo's speech where he see Juliet at her balcony and the women had to read Juliet's speech where she is winding herself up to drinking the poison. Most of the superstars acted as if they were reading a shopping list but a few did OK. Then Amy (Lita) had her turn. She was brilliant. Some of the girls had managed to show that Juliet was scared but only Amy managed to get Juliet's stubborn streak. And when she swallowed the poison it was like an act of teen rebellion. Middle finger up to lord and Lady Capulet! Even Vince seemed impressed.  
  
"Ok! Great job everyone the cast list will be sent out tomorrow."  
  
The next day everyone got their cast lists.  
  
Montagues (smackdown) Lord Montague: Paul Levesque (HHH) Lady Montague: Stephanie. Romeo Montague: Matt Hardy. Benvolio: Adam Copeland (Edge) Balthasar Montague: Jason Reso (Christian) Orlando Montague: Shannon Moore Dernius Montague: Robert Szatkowsky (Rob van Dam)  
  
Capulets (Raw) Lord Capulet: Eric Bischoff Lady Capulet: Lisa Moretti (Ivory) Juliet Capulet: Amy Dumas (Lita) Tybalt Capulet: Mark Lomonica (Buh-Buh Ray Dudley) Valencio Capulet: Devon Hughes (D'von Dudley) Fendanio Capulet: Matthew Hyson (Spike dudley)  
  
Others Mercutio: Jeff Hardy (Smackdown) Paris: Kurt Angle (Raw) Nurse: Dawn Marie (Raw) Prince: Vince McMahon  
  
"Well that's cool." Said Jeff to his brother. "I get stabbed. I'm out of it in Act 3!" Adam and Jay Walked over, both carrying their cast lists.  
  
"Yo Romeo!" Yelled Adam. Matt turned and Grinned.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"You gotta kiss Amy! On camera!"  
  
"So! I do nearly every week anyway!"  
  
Adam shrugged. "I get to try 'n' keep the peace. God Benvolio is a dorkchop!"  
  
Jay nudged him. "I get to have a sword fight with Tybalt. Who is Tybalt anyway?"  
  
"Buh-buh ray dudley!" Answered Adam after checking his sheet. "Lousy RAW brand!"  
  
"Hey!" objected Matt "Amy's on RAW!"  
  
"Ok OK! RAW is crap except for Amy!"  
  
"Thank you!"  
  
*****************  
  
First rehearsal  
  
****************  
  
Act 1 scene 1 (modern Anikathepen version)  
  
(Drive on Montagues, Stop at gas station Benvolio, Balthazar, Dernius and Orlando)  
  
Adam: Stay here and don't get into trouble. I'll go get the Gas!  
  
(Drive on Capulets, Tybalt, Valencino, Ferdanio.)  
  
Jay: Here come this Capulets, I shall bite my thumb at them which is a disgrace if they bear it!  
  
Buh-Buh: Do you bite your thumb at us sir.  
  
Jay: I do sir!  
  
Buh-Buh: Then draw your guns and we shall duel!  
  
Jay: I am not afraid for I serve a man as good as you!  
  
Buh Buh: No better?  
  
Shannon: Here comes Benvolio! Say 'better'  
  
Jay: Yes, BETTER!  
  
(Adam returns)  
  
Adam: Stop fools! You don't know what you are doing! Lower your guns!  
  
Buh-Buh: Are you the man who claims to be 'better' than me. Put up your gun!  
  
Adam: NO! I do but keep the peace!  
  
Buh-Buh: Stand and fight or stand and DIE!  
  
(Enter Vince in police car!)  
  
Vince: WHAT IS THIS! Are you fighting again! This is the third time this week! If you fight again you shall all go to jail!  
  
(end of scene)  
  
**************  
  
"Well I thought that went Ok!" Said Adam to Jay as they were packing up. "Hey Buh-Buh! D'von! Wanna come grab some pizza with us?"  
  
Buh-Buh glared. "With a Smackdown superstar! NO WAY!"  
  
Adam and Jay exchanged glances.  
  
"Fine!" Said Jay. "If that's how they want to play let the games begin!" 


	3. 2 more rehearsals and Pizza

Author's note: Isn't Romeo and Juliet better when it's in modern language? I get confused by ye olde English so I have done you all a translation! (KazzaXtreme has a hidden tribute)  
  
2nd rehearsal Act 1 scene 2  
  
Lord Montague: I do not fear the Police's warning, it should be attainable for  
  
Lady Montague: Benvolio? Where is Romeo? Right glad am I he wasn't involved in this morning's brawl!  
  
Benvolio: Madam, I think I saw your Son underneath the sycamore grove.  
  
Lord Montague: Yes, Many days he has sat there, moping about something. Go over there Benvolio, find out what is going on and cheer him up.  
  
Benvolio: Yes Uncle.  
  
*********  
  
Sycamore Grove.  
  
*********  
  
Benvolio: Good morning Cousin!  
  
Romeo: Morning? Is it still that early?  
  
Benvolio: Did you think it was later?  
  
Romeo: Sad hours seem long.  
  
Benvolio: What sadness lengthens Romeo's hours?  
  
Romeo: Not having what makes them short.  
  
Benvolio: We're talkin' bout Rosaline right?  
  
Romeo: Why doesn't she like me! What's wrong with me!  
  
Benvolio: NOTHING! She's just a stupid Bitch! Come with Mercutio and me to the Capulet ball tonight! There'll be loads of girls better than Rosaline!  
  
Romeo: I dunno,  
  
Benvolio you're GOING! And that's that! Tonight I'll find you a girl, man!  
  
**************  
  
After a house show everyone from Smackdown was crashed out backstage. Everyone was either going over their matches or discussing the play. One subject that kept coming up was how much everyone DIDN'T want to do the play. Another was how annoying everyone on Raw had suddenly become. Jay (Christian) remarked how much he was looking forward to getting to stab Buh- Buh Dudley on stage when Adam suddenly spoke up.  
  
"Why are you guys so down on Raw anyway? The people one there are the same people who were with us just while ago and you didn't hate them then!"  
  
Everyone shrugged.  
  
Matt spoke up. "It's not us, It's them! They act like they're better than us, won't talk to us."  
  
"Well you guys are retaliating!" pointed out Adam.  
  
"They started it!" muttered Jay.  
  
"Maybe if we're nice to them, they'll be nice to us and we can be friends" Adam stated.  
  
Everyone looked at each other. Jay spoke up.  
  
"We might as well try I suppose."  
  
****************  
  
Next rehearsal  
  
****************  
  
(Romeo, Benvolio and Mercutio enter, they are outside the Capulet Mansion)  
  
Romeo: Are you sure there's a party tonight? I don't see anything!  
  
Benvolio: Relax, man! Just listen.  
  
(A servant enters talking to another servant)  
  
Servant 1: We only have a few hours to get the invitations out to everyone!  
  
Servant 2: The Party is not until late tonight, we have time.  
  
Servant 1: Shall we deliver together?  
  
Servant 2: Let's split up. Here is your guest list.  
  
(Exit Servant 2)  
  
Servant 1: Oh No! I don't even know who these people are! Hey! YOU!  
  
(Mercutio turns around)  
  
Mercutio: What do you want?  
  
Servant 1: Sorry to bother you sir but who is Mercutio? I have an invitation for him.  
  
Mercutio: Mercutio? That's me.  
  
Servant 1: (Hands Mercutio Invitation) Here you are sir. I shall see you tonight.  
  
Mercutio: (Reading) The Capulet Ball, tonight 9:00pm until late. Fancy dress optional but preferred. Come if you are not of the house of Montague. To Mercutio and Friends.  
  
Romeo: We're not allowed.  
  
Mercutio: Yes you are! Look 'Mercutio and Friends', that's you! You're my friends.  
  
Benvolio: It's fancy dress, we can wear masks or disguises.  
  
Romeo: Well,  
  
Mercutio: It'll be fun! I'll meet you guys here tonight.  
  
**************  
  
"Hey! RAW guys!" Shouted Adam after rehearsal. "We're going on to Kazza's Pizza place afterwards, you wanna come?"  
  
Some people made excuses, others just plain refused, The Dudleys made some rude comments about Not wanting to go ANYWHERE with Smackdown. Only Amy and Trish accepted their invitation.  
  
"SEE!" hissed Jay to Adam. "It's them!"  
  
Adam pretended not to hear.  
  
"Everyone for Pizza follow me!"  
  
*************  
  
Author's note: Feedback please, pretty please. And any advice very welcome. 


	4. Pizza

Author's note: I lost all my updates I was working on, so I'm starting again from scratch. And a reminder who's who.  
  
Montagues  
  
(smackdown)  
  
Lord Montague: Paul Levesque (HHH)  
  
Lady Montague: Stephanie.  
  
Romeo Montague: Matt Hardy.  
  
Benvolio: Adam Copeland (Edge)  
  
Balthasar Montague: Jason Reso (Christian)  
  
Orlando Montague: Shannon Moore  
  
Dernius Montague: Robert Szatkowsky (Rob van Dam)  
  
Capulets  
  
(Raw)  
  
Lord Capulet: Eric Bischoff  
  
Lady Capulet: Lisa Moretti (Ivory)  
  
Juliet Capulet: Amy Dumas (Lita)  
  
Tybalt Capulet: Mark Lomonica (Buh-Buh Ray Dudley)  
  
Valencio Capulet: Devon Hughes (D'von Dudley)  
  
Fendanio Capulet: Matthew Hyson (Spike dudley)  
  
Others  
  
Mercutio: Jeff Hardy (Smackdown)  
  
Paris: Kurt Angle (Raw)  
  
Nurse: Dawn Marie (Raw)  
  
Prince: Vince McMahon  
  
***  
  
Jay soon forgot his sour mood, as did the others as soon as they had a huge steamy, yummy and gooey pizza- with- everything- except- green- peppers- and- anchovy's pizza in front of them. Matt and Amy were sitting together, as were Jeff and Trish. Adam was sitting next to Jay to stop him going mad and decapitating someone as he had been in the mood to do so when they had left the arena, and everyone else was randomly dotted about the table and digging into their slices.  
  
"Ugh! Who ordered mushrooms!" asked Jay after finding some nasty grey globs on his pizza slice. "I hate mushrooms"  
  
"Oh, those aren't mushrooms." Amy informed him. "They're escargots - snails!"  
  
Everyone hurriedly put his or her pizza slices down. Only going back to them after Amy sheepishly added "Kidding!"  
  
"So who DID order mushrooms?" Asked Jay.  
  
"You did." Adam informed him. When Jay looked at him confused he added. "You said 'extra-extra-extra large pizza with everything. That includes mushrooms Jay-Jay!"  
  
"Don't call me that!" snapped Jay before returning, scowling, to his pizza.  
  
Adam didn't bother asking what was wrong. He knew Jay was madder at the RAW brand than him anyway. Jay hadn't said anything since they came away from the arena but Adam knew that he was Angry at Buh-buh Ray's attitude, until the brand extension they had all been the best of friends. But not anymore.  
  
Deciding against his better judgement, Adam leaned closer to Jay and murmured "What's wrong."  
  
Jay shifted away from him and folded his arms before answering "Nothing"  
  
Adam gave up and sat back down, I Jay wanted to tell him, he thought, he would.  
  
Adam instead turned his attention to the other end of the table. Where Matt and Amy were sitting together, looking at the script for the next rehearsal. They both went to turn the page at the same time and their hands met, before Matt withdrew his, and let Amy turn the page. Adam grinned, unable to help noticing the blushes on both their faces. He grinned but neither of them noticed since they were looking back at the script, he tugged on Jay's sleeve and whispered in his ear.  
  
"I have an idea."  
  
****************  
  
In the men's bathroom  
  
****************  
  
Adam had eventually dragged a pissed off Jay into the Men's Bathroom with him to try and get him to talk to him.  
  
"Jay-Jay? What's bugging you?" he asked.  
  
Jay just stood there before saying, "You are Goddamn persistent you know that?"  
  
"Yeah, so?"  
  
"I don't want to talk about it can't you take a hint!"  
  
"Ah!" Said Adam triumphantly. "So there IS something!"  
  
Jay turned his back on him.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Jay c'mon!" Adam pleaded. "You always tell me EVERYTHING!"  
  
Jay shifted uncomfortably on the spot for a moment then looked back at Adam, not quite meeting his eyes. He bit his lip and shifted his weight from one foot to another before finally saying;  
  
"It's Chris."  
  
"Irvine?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What's he done?"  
  
"It's not what he's DONE, it's more what he.hasn't."  
  
"Oh"  
  
Jay sighed before continuing. "I think he's avoiding me, when we arrange to meet he'll never turn up, never return my phone calls. Whenever I phone him he's 'out' and last time I called him someone who sounded suspiciously like him answered and told me he wasn't in. what's going on Adam?"  
  
"I don't know Jay, when did this start?"  
  
Jay suddenly made an expression of realisation. And snapped his fingers. "Since the BRAND EXTENSION! It's been since he went to Raw!"  
  
"What!!!" Adam's expression was one of shock. Don't tell me he's acting like the Dudleyz too! Aw crap! That sucks!"  
  
Jay, after his expression of realisation had faded had worn one of sadness.  
  
"This sucks, that guy is one of my best friends"  
  
"He is! And he'll come around. Just give it time."  
  
"I'm sick of this whole brand extension."  
  
"It's not that bad."  
  
"It IS that bad Adam - we've practically turned into the montagues and Capulets"  
  
Adam couldn't help laughing.  
  
"WHAT?" Jay snapped.  
  
"Nothing - it's just that you're finally getting into this play."  
  
"And how is that funny?"  
  
"Well now you mention it - it isn't."  
  
"Then shut up"  
  
"How about we both shut up - and finish our pizza?"  
  
"Ok"  
  
They exited the bathroom and went back to their friends.  
  
************  
  
Rehearsal  
  
************  
  
(Outside Capulet party)  
  
Romeo: This is a very very bad idea Mercutio.  
  
Mercutio: No it isn't  
  
Romeo: Yes it is  
  
Mercutio: Shut up.  
  
Benvolio: Let's just not cause trouble. Ok?  
  
Romeo: Ok.  
  
(Inside)  
  
(Romeo spots Juliet across the party and moves toward her.)  
  
Romeo: Hello there.  
  
Juliet: (smiles) Hello.  
  
Romeo: Do you want to dance.  
  
Juliet: (Glances over at Paris. ) certainly.  
  
(They dance, at the end of the dance they kiss)  
  
Nurse: JULIET!!! Juliet!!! Your mother calls for you.  
  
Juliet: Yes nurse. (To Romeo) Goodbye my friend I hope I shall she you again.  
  
Romeo: Who is your mother?  
  
Juliet: The Lady of this house and very well respected.  
  
Romeo: You're a Ca-Capulet???  
  
Juliet: Yes, why does that bother you.  
  
Romeo: I have to go (he runs)  
  
Juliet: WAIT!!!  
  
Nurse: who was that boy?  
  
Juliet: I did not catch his name - and yet I feel like I have fallen in deep love.  
  
Nurse: Oh Dear!  
  
Juliet what is it?  
  
Nurse: He was a Montague! Romeo monague!Your enemy!  
  
Juliet: (Shocked) My only love so sprung from my only hate, too early seen unknown and known too late. My Dearest Romeo.  
  
***********  
  
Author's note: Please review. 


End file.
